YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT

Nothing has ever come easy for me. Think one of the many reasons the hubby and I jive so well is because we both are achievers. We may go about our goals in different way but we reach them, usually together. Soccer today was an utter disaster. My middle one is on a league where the hubby and I switch on and off coaching. We decided to coach, at the recommendation of the head of soccer, so that our almost 4 year old could feel more comfortable. In my opinion, it is a huge perk to have your mom and dad there with you the whole time. Our middle child is a trip. He is definitely the one who needs to be motivated the most to move his butt, put some life into his step, try hard at things. Again, the hubby and I try to keep all things in perspective and take him for what he is and not compare him to anyone else. We live in a society that is lazy overall. We think that it is imperative for M to be active and start learning that working out in various ways not only is beneficial to him but also needed to keep him happy/healthy.

The game started and he really wasn’t into it. He was moving like a slug. We tried to play the encouragement card, that didn’t work. We played the ignorance is bliss card, that didn’t work. We played the tough love card (and as the coach being very hard on my own kid I received a ton of looks from other parents), that didn’t work. Finally, I thought about what Sunny C has been teaching us. M wants to be helped. He wants Mommy or Daddy’s help in doing his “work”. In this case, it was playing the game. The hubby and I were getting more and more frustrated with the lack of interest on M’s part. I thought to myself “how can I get through to him without him feeling abandoned or chastised? How can he do the work that is required when you are part of a soccer team?”. I though about what my coaches made me do when I was on teams. What do my instructors do now when they want to change my behavior?

When the game finished I said, in a very calm tone “M you didn’t do the work required, that all your other teammates did. Now you have to do it. The tears started to stream down his face. I took a deep breath and said “let’s go we are going to run”. We ran four laps around the outside track at the JCC. He wasn’t pleased but he got the message. We rewarded his with the water ice he requested before the game. We said because you did the work your request has been granted.

SWIM MEET #2

There is a reason people practice. There is a reason that you work at something you enjoy and can get better and better. B had his second swim meet today. At first, it was a little rocky. He was coughing(tic) a lot and got upset. Ev was trying to convince him to stop but I recalled that we communicate how we feel there usually is a positive resolution. I looked B right in the eyes and said “sweetie your twitches are coming out because you are nervous and that ok. How can I help you?”. He looked at me with a found sense “I get why I am coughing” and then he proceeded not to use the coin I gave him to rub but went with Daddy, took some deep breaths and worked in out in true B form. He then busted out new record for himself in crawl and backstroke. And, with the stroke he couldn’t even do two days ago, he did the breast stroke from one end to the other end of the pool. He accomplished all of his goals that he set forth, with us, before the race. By the end of the first race his smiles were beaming, his confidence was oozing and there was some crazy fierce drive within him that made him try his best and have fun while doing so! Maybe the two days a week practiced combined with the Bundis swim practice over every weekend for least an hour for then past 6 weeks helped him feel he could conquer the meet. And he did!

There is a reason behind our madness. We want the best for our kids. We want them to feel good in their bodies and minds. Practice, doing the work, whatever it may be, will always lead to success, especially when you have your entire family supporting you, practicing with you and encouraging you to be true to yourself, go after your dreams, and achieve whatever your heart desires.